Seriously?

This was the day I crashed.  It all became too much and I simply couldn’t deal with everything anymore.  Between the exhaustion, overwhelming poverty, culture shock, and having a new baby my system was on serious overload.  The day began with trying to deal with airline issues.  It turns out they had misspelled Baby G’s name on his birth certificate, meaning it was now different than his plane ticket.  I called Lufthansa and was advised I would have to buy a new ticket and wait to have the old one refunded.  This was going to be expensive and meant I had to go to the Lufthansa ticket office.  I was also concerned about Baby G because he had been VERY cranky, spitting up a LOT, with diarrhea, and rubbing his ear a lot.  I was thinking maybe he had an ear infection.

After talking to Lufthansa on the phone I called Daddy-O and broke down as soon as I heard his voice.  I couldn’t even talk for the crying, which of course sent him into a panic.  I finally calmed down enough to tell him everything and he calmed me down enough to deal with the issues I had to that day.

Part of my emotional overload was because this was supposed to be the day we traveled to the town of Baby G’s birth.  I wasn’t expecting to learn much info, or meet his birth family, just gain a sense of his birthplace.  As I talked to Daddy-O on the phone I didn’t know what to do.  The thought of a two hour drive each way with a very cranky baby and a very exhausted body was not exactly ideal.   While I knew I would regret not going, I also did not think I could make this trip and still be physically and emotionally strong enough to be a good mother to Baby G.  I decided that what he needed most at this moment in time was simply for me to be his mother.  For that reason I decided not to make the trip.  (and yes I do regret it, but we do plan to return someday as a family)

We began with another trip to Layla to see the doctor.  This was a very moving experience for me and my dad.  We sat on this tiny bench with all of these little sick children.  There was a VERY sick looking little girl, a boy with a giant swollen knee who kept limping around and trying hard to show us how much it hurt to walk on.  Another little girl with lots of bumps on her face who just kept smiling at us, and several others.  For a while we were the only adults there with them.  It is unbelievably hard to see a sick little one without a mommy to comfort them.  Unfortunately there was a huge language barrier and I am not sure we did much to comfort them ourselves.  The doctor was unable to look into Baby G’s ears because he was screaming and fighting the entire time.  Just to be on the safe side he gave me some antibiotics and rehydration salts, neither of which I really understood the directions for…  I ultimately did not use either because I was so afraid I would somehow overdose him.  BTW, I feel it is important to mention how incredibly wonderful it is that there is a doctor on staff at Layla.  While it seemed primitive by American standards, having a doctor’s office in the same compound is an incredible blessing for these children.  I am very happy he is there and know he will make a world of difference (I believe it was his first week).

I also took this opportunity at Layla to take Baby G to say goodbye to the nannies.  I knew this would be our last trip there.  I took his picture with everyone I could.  I found myself very emotional, although I tried hard not to show it.  I was terribly sad that he was leaving this place, as strange as that sounds.  I kept thinking of Supergirl as a baby and what it would have been like for her if someone came in and took her away from everyone she knew.  It broke my heart, for both him and the nannies.  One in particular seemed emotional as she said goodbye and kissed him and hugged him repeatedly.  I managed to hold in the tears until the moment we stepped outside the compound.

My dad spoke with the social worker who was supposed to travel with us to Baby G’s birthplace.  He explained that we had opted not to make the trip.  She was very kind and understanding and said that was fine.  Next we headed to the Lufthansa office.  We parked on the side of the road, got out of the car and walked into a small photo shop with our driver.  I was busy looking at all the framed photos as our driver spoke to the people working in the shop.  Apparently the Lufthansa office USED to be here but was now located on the other side of town.  We headed back to the car and across town.  The new office was in a very nice building.  However, today was the warmest day of our trip, borderline hot, Baby G was so so grumpy and I was not in a very good mood as I sat and waited for my turn.  Baby G puked all over me for about the 20th time that morning, so my dad offered to walk him around outside as I waited.  This helped as I think his crying was annoying some of the other people waiting…  Finally it was my turn and I was SO happy that the lady was incredibly nice and understanding.  In no time at all she had a printout stating there was a name change.  She advised me to just take the printout to the airport and there was no need to purchase new tickets.  Huge, huge relief.

We headed back to the Hotel.  This was probably the hardest drive of the trip for me.  I am not sure where we were, but there were many more people living on the streets and begging.  People with obvious deformities.  A boy of about 14 came to the car window.  His legs were so deformed he was walking on his hands and could barely reach up to the window.  Many mothers with tiny babies, many very sick people.  I just kept thinking of how you don’t see this in America.  People complain about healthcare and I definitely have my own complaints about the insurance companies.  But there is a healthcare system.  There is Medicaid.  You simply don’t see children with deformities such as these begging on the streets.  At least I certainly never have…

Once at the Hotel Baby G and I completely crashed.  My dad opted to do a little sight-seeing, including a trip by the Mercato and to the National Museum.  Although he very quickly reached overload and returned to the hotel with me.  Baby G and I were still napping when he returned.  He went to eat lunch and when he came back the baby was waking up.  My wonderful dad took him on a walk around the beautiful grounds of the Hilton while I napped even more. 

I was finally awake when I heard an urgent knock at the door.  I opened the door to have my dad push Baby G into my arms as he yelled about things biting him.  He quickly jumped into the bathroom and began to take off his clothes.  He was covered in ants!!  I had to help him get them all off.  I quickly undressed Baby G and searched him but fortunately he had none on him.  Dad says as they were walking he saw what looked like termite mounds just off the walking path with birds swooping down and eating the bugs off the top.  He stepped off the trail for just a split second to get a closer look and very quickly realized this was a terrible mistake.  He swears the bites were way more painful than ANY ants he has ever encountered before.  They were certainly aggressive.  Although I still thought it was a little funny.

The rest of the evening was spent just hanging out and relaxing and eating more pizza.