I want to be a Do’er

Tonight I was to pick up dinner on my way home from work.  Daddy-O had called in an order for ‘curbside pickup.’  As I pulled in I noticed a car stopped in the middle of the parking lot (in the lane, not a space) with the hazards on and no one it.  I began to silently complain about how annoying some people are, thinking they own the world and can just park there car in the street to do whatever they are doing.  After I pulled into the correct ‘pickup’ space and began waiting I noticed a woman inside standing at the door on her cell phone.  I began thinking I bet it is her car, why is she on her cell phone, why is she not in her car.  Finally, she went to her car and as she turned the key I learned why it was in the middle of the road, and why she was not in it, or moving it.  There was a loud click, no engine, just a click.  A few minutes went by, I was still waiting for my food.  Lots of people coming and going to the restaurant.  Finally, two guys come out.  One clearly worked there, still wearing his short-sleeve polo (even though it was freezing outside).  The other could have worked there or could have been eating there, but he had a coat and a hat.  He asked the woman if she needed help and they offered to at least push her out of the way while she waited.  The two of them began pushing, several people were still walking by, and several people were also watching from their table in the restaurant (I could see them).  The two guys push the woman as far as they could (until the road turned uphill) and until she was at least out of the way and on the side of the road.  She thanked them and one left while the other went back to work.  My food came and I, too, left.

You are probably now asking yourself what on earth is the point of this story?  It is simply this:  I did not help.  I watched.  I thought “I should get out and help them push” and I thought “Why is no one else helping them” but I didn’t get out.

There are 3 kinds of people in this world.  1.  Haters (those who are simply unable to think of anything or anyone but themselves).  2.  Thinkers (those who notice the needs of others and think something should be done to help).  3.  Do’ers (those who DO what needs to be done to help others) 

Apparently I am a Thinker.  I have pretty much always been a Thinker.  While I was watching the above scene I kept thinking “I should get out and help.”  Why didn’t I?  Because I had other thoughts, ridiculous thoughts, thoughts like “I’m a big wimp, I wouldn’t actually be much help” and “I’m wearing my brand new white coat, it would get dirty on her car-and I already feel guilty for buying it” and “What if the lady comes with my food while I’m helping and doesn’t know where I am”  Stupid, yes.  Excuses, yes.  My defense was “at least I thought about helping, at least I noticed she needed help.”  Problem with that is in the end a Thinker is absolutely no different than a Hater.  I did exactly the same thing as they did, nothing.  I was JUST as helpful to that woman as anyone who did not think or care that she needed help.  It only matters if you are a Do’er.  You are only helpful if you DO help.  Thinking about helping produces no results.

Daddy-O is a Do’er.  Even while I was sitting in the car I kept thinking, “he would get out, he would be helping them right now.  He wouldn’t even have thought about it.”  And it’s true, that’s just who he is, he just DOES.  I don’t know why I don’t.  I should, everyone should.  How does one go from being a Thinker to a Do’er.  Perhaps practice.  Perhaps ignoring all the ‘buts’ in your head.  Who knows, all I know is making that change would make me a better person.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Blaine
    Dec 09, 2006 @ 17:05:25

    I want to be a Do’er too. I am most definitely a Thinker. I think more than any one person ought to be allowed to. I have been involved in little things here and there in my life, but our adoption was the first time I was ever REALLY motivated to DO something. I am so glad I did. Now for working on the day to day stuff. Thanks for the reminder.


  2. Crissy
    Dec 09, 2006 @ 17:05:55

    I too am a thinker. Are we bad people? No. Jason is a do’er. He would have helped while I sat in the car. It just takes a special kind of person to be a do’er. As mothers we can help change the world by teaching our children to be do’ers. That is how we can make a difference.


  3. MomSquared
    Dec 10, 2006 @ 15:39:55

    This is a lovely post. It doesn’t take a special person to be a do-er. Anyone can be a do-er. Just DO.

    I think it’s a great sentiment to teach our children to be do-ers, but to teach them to be do-ers I think we must be do-ers ourselves.

    You know what, though? You could probably be a do-er enabler by, say, cheerfully staying with the kids alone on a Saturday so that DH can go to habitat for humanity, or something. I think supporting your spouse as a do-er makes you a do-er!

    My pet causes lately? Blood donation and child sponsorship. http://www.planusa.org

    Never did I think I would say do-er so much in one day. 🙂


  4. MomSquared
    Dec 10, 2006 @ 17:41:23

    Hey, random Q: Do you know what place in line you are for referrals?

    Gotta love my grammar. 🙂


  5. Shoshana
    Dec 12, 2006 @ 01:15:04

    I like this post. A thinker is fine too…sometimes, a thinker helps. Don’t be too hard on yourself…just because you think, doesn’t make you a hater.

    A hater is such a negative person…a thinker still have a chance that they’ll help. A thinker might have a better solution if the “doer’s” been at it a while and completely mucking it up.



  6. Dawn Finley
    Dec 14, 2006 @ 12:27:05

    I too am a thinker. I wish I was a doer more often. I have some doer moments–helping the old man at the recycling place put his newspaper in the dumpster, etc. But they are rare moments. I hope to teach Noah to be a doer.


  7. Malía's mama
    Jul 23, 2007 @ 13:25:22

    I never thought about it much, but realize I am very much the Doer and have always been, especially in situations of injustices.
    Thanks for these insights!


  8. Trackback: Be a Doer « Seriously?

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