Where is this going?

This started as a way to keep grandparents and family and friends updated on the goings on of Supergirl and a few of my random thoughts.  Then it grew into the story of our adoption.  It was a place to document the journey.  A place to let everyone we knew know where we were in the process.  A place to vent my frustrations.  A place to celebrate the progress.  Then something interesting happened.  It turned into this wonderful support group.  I connected with a much larger adoption community with so many voices that are so supportive and encouraging.  People to share stories with.  I have even had the opportunity to meet some of these people in real life. 

My life is currently in sort of a transition stage.  We are still adjusting from one kid to two.  I am making the change from part-time to full-time work.  I am back in school.  All of this has definitely changed the face of findingbabyg.  I have very seriously considered calling it quits.  Or at least taking an extended vacation…

For one thing, time is suddenly not quite as available.  I don’t have as much time to download pictures, to write more than a few sentences every week or so.  Which leaves a lot of empty space…

I also struggle with what to post.  I still need the support group.  I have written posts but never published them.  I am very aware that my children could one day read this.  I am concerned about venting for fear they will not understand where I am coming from or that this is really such a small part of our lives.  I am afraid to say I had a rough day for fear they will feel I was unhappy.  For that isn’t true.

So I’m now sort of rambling.  I guess I’m just trying to say I don’t know what direction this is going.  I don’t feel like it is as honest as it once was.  And I am not sure I have time for it to be a fun picture/update place either. 

In fact, I don’t even know if anyone reads this anymore 🙂  But we are still here.  I still have thoughts (sometimes) that I want to write, just can’t decide whether to post…

What do you think?  I know there are those of you out there much busier than me, how do you do it?  And how do you feel about your kids reading this stuff?  Any feedback at all would be very much appreciated.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karen
    Dec 18, 2007 @ 08:45:04

    Just a quick note to let you know you *do* still have readers who hope you don’t decide to take an extended vacation!!! I’ve enjoyed following your adoption story, and I hope you find the courage to post those difficult posts you’ve been working on. I think as long as one is honest about life, then whatever you write can be a wonderful opportunity to talk to the kids when they’re older and potentially reads what was once written. A few years ago my parents opened up about a difficult time in their marriage, and while I was very young when it all happened, I realized I had a lot of unprocessed emotions about it. Today we’re all much closer and stronger because of opening that jar of worms and letting them flee… We were never unhappy either, but there are for better and worse times in parent-child relationships as well! 🙂

    Reply

  2. dawn
    Dec 18, 2007 @ 09:07:51

    I know where you are coming from. I think about that stuff when the second one comes a long and the adjustment is harder–as we have had a pretty easy time with Minnow. I think it is a personally decision what you choose to post, but it is important to vent those feelings even if you don’t post (email me). From personal experience I can tell you that knowing what parents thought and felt is priceless. My mom kept a journal for me when I was a senior in high school–she recorded all her thought, fears, feelings about me and what I was and wasn’t doing, etc. Reading it was amazing because it showed me how much my mom loved me and it was from her perspective.

    I hope Minnow some day (when he is old enough and who knows when that is) will read the posts I write about raising him because they will show him how we became a family and how I grew to love him and how it wasn’t always easy. How life isn’t always easy.

    Please don’t go….

    Time? I get up early on the mornings I now I want to post and have a little quiet time after I get home from the gym. Or I do it at night after the kids have gone to bed–it is hard to balance–school, work, husband, self and us out here. Sometimes I can only manage a picture post and sometimes I only post something significant once a week. Again…please don’t go.

    Reply

  3. Danielle
    Dec 18, 2007 @ 11:22:23

    Hey girl, I’m still reading too! And I also don’t want you to go, but I understand if you have to. I’ve obviously struggled with having stuff out there as well–I don’t have a censor button, I say what I think/feel and sometimes the crazies like to take advantage of that. That said, we all have difficult moments and if writing about them and getting support makes you get over them quicker, who cares that the crazies can judge and the kids might someday read? It’s a heck of a lot better than sweeping things under the rug and pretending all was lovely fine and dandy always. We’re all human.

    As for getting it all done and finding the time…I’m a multitasker. I can rarely watch TV without working on the computer, reading, etc. I always found that writing a blog helped keep me a bit sane, so I tried to find the time.

    Anyway, hang in there. Once you find a routine with all the newness, it will all become much more manageable and you’ll feel less like you’re just trying to keep your head above water. At which point you’ll probably take on more and make it worse all over again 🙂

    Reply

  4. Brooke
    Dec 18, 2007 @ 13:48:24

    I read your blog! I have followed your journey and I appreciate your posts as my family is starting it’s own journey through adoption. Without people like you blogging, I might feel a little lost in what to expect out of this crazy process! So, if your short on time, people will understand. But, if you keep writing, we’ll keep reading!

    Reply

  5. Stacie
    Dec 18, 2007 @ 17:02:35

    Well I’m glad I’m not the only one who wants you to stay around. I’ve struggled with writing about the trying times too – I don’t ever want to sound like I’m complaining, but sometimes this mom stuff is not easy. I find comfort in knowing others have rough days too. Recently, I was refreshingly surprised (is that a term?) when I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in years with her new baby. I mentioned how great it is staying home and she was totally honest and said, “Yeah – except for those first months. I didn’t know anything and it pretty much sucked.” 🙂
    As for the kids reading it – I agree with what’s been said – and, it won’t seem as bad to them as you think. Like Dawn said, they’ll see how much you love them and how things aren’t always easy.
    I want you to stay! And, even if you only post a few pictures here & there – those pictures of Boomer & SG are always priceless!
    Oh – and to add to what Brooke said – when I was going through this last Spring – I read your blog and was inspired – it proved to me that it could/would happen.

    Reply

  6. Tom Smith
    Feb 05, 2008 @ 20:32:32

    If it helps, keep it up. You obviously have a lot of readers. It’s cool that you have actually meet some and been able to relate to most. Where will all this digital info be in 20 years? Are you going to print it out and bind it? Burn it to a disk?

    I put a link in the “website” field to a podcast project my students and I started this year. We decided we could make a weekly podcast about our little town and school and sometimes drift into how our kids feel about random subjects. If this were the only thing we did, maybe it would be easier. But we are running out of ideas, the weeks come so fast. I love my students, but bless their little pointed heads, they come up with some of the lamest ideas for podcast. But, you know, they have also come up with some really good ones and they do a good job. Too bad we have no, zero, nada, zilch listeners.

    My point: I think you have had great benefit from the blog and done a service to others in the process.

    Reply

  7. cdnmissy
    May 16, 2008 @ 22:28:08

    OK you have inspired me to start my own blog. I have no idea what I am going to write about.

    I love checking what is going on with all of you through your blog. It’s been ages since we have seen you.

    Reply

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