I’m a runner! not really…

I think of myself as a runner.  They say if you run at all then you are a runner–no questions asked.  It makes me feel cool to call myself a runner.  I’m fit, I’m dedicated, I go out and exercise while everyone else sits in front of the TV.  And yet, if you look at my running log you might notice it is not exactly chock-full of daily runs.  Or even weekly.  In fact, there are stretches of 3-4 weeks between runs.  Which means———-I’m not actually running.  At least not with any real commitment or dedication.  I run when it’s convenient, which isn’t often.  So am I still a runner?  I do run, occasionally, but not if it requires more than a 20% effort to make it happen.  Therefore, I have made absolutely no improvements in my ability to run.

The thing is, I like to THINK about running.  I like to search the internet for new workouts, to pin reasons to be fit from tumblr onto my fitness board, to look for races I MIGHT sign up for.  I love love love searching for new fitness apps.  I have quite a few now.  That I don’t use.  But I enjoyed the search!  It made feel like I am that girl.  You know, the one that’s always working out, who actually LIKES working out, who looks amazing and energetic and happy.  But when it comes down to it, becoming that girl is a LOT of hard work.  It requires much more than a 20% effort.  It involves getting off your butt and doing something—when it’s not even convenient!  It involves pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.  And I can assure you, I really do not like to be uncomfortable.  When I run and I start to feel tired–I slow down.  Or I walk.  I do not push myself, because that would require entirely too much effort.

I have a very clear pattern.  I get excited about something new, get the app, read all about it, and actually do it for a week or two.  And then I’m done.  That’s when I make the choice that other parts of my life (reading a book, staring at my phone, sleeping) are more important than working out.  There are no excuses, it is simply a choice I continue to make.  A few weeks go by of choosing things other than fitness and I begin to feel like a lazy bum.  I can’t think of myself as a runner when I haven’t run for a month.  So I am suddenly back on the internet.  Time to find the next big thing…

The next big thing this month is micoach by Adidas.  I downloaded the free app, signed up at the website and read loads of information on the internet.  THEN I actually went outside and ran.  I started with the assessment workout and failed miserably.  It actually wouldn’t even count it as an assessment workout due to my lack of consistency.  Which I do have an actual real excuse about—Savannah went with me on her bike and it really didn’t go well, at one point she ran over me—hard to be consistent when that happens.  So 2 days later I went to the track by myself and tried again.  This time it worked.  It set up my green, yellow and red zones.  I had to get on the internet to convert min/mile to mph just so I could think about whether I could actually run that fast (based on my treadmill experience).  I was tempted to change the zones (make them slower) but I chose not to.  If this free app thinks I can run that fast than maybe—just maybe—I can.  Today I did my first ‘orientation’ workout.  I walked 5 minutes, ran 20 minutes in the green zone (comfortable, easy running) and walked 5 minutes again.  The first 10 minutes of running were fine, the second 10 was where I found myself wanting to walk.  I slowed down and was told to speed up.  So I did.  That happened only one more time and I made it to the walk without giving up.  I felt like crap and was so happy to be walking, but also so proud that I made it.  I even had to push myself the last 3 minutes.  I was uncomfortable.

I want to be fit.  I want to look amazing.  I want to be fast.  But how much?  Enough to make it happen, or only enough to like to think about it…  To be completely honest I am not sure.  Right now I am excited and dedicated.  I even signed up for a strength training program (without equipment) on micoach so I have something to do every day.  I know if I stick with this I can be both faster and fitter in a matter of weeks.  I will feel better.  Right now I am going to take it 2 weeks at a time.  And when it’s 7:00pm and I haven’t worked out yet and I am thinking about just calling it a night I am going to make myself read this.  I may still call it a night, but I will not take the easy way out.  I will be honest with myself about my choices and what they mean.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Laura
    Jun 18, 2013 @ 21:08:48

    Are you still on micoach? Still reading this when you lack motivation? Encouraging your friends to check their daily log ins on other free apps?

    Reply

    • findingbabyg
      Jun 18, 2013 @ 21:39:28

      Ugh-accountability…

      Yes-still on micoach. Not consistently, but still on it. In fact I ran tonight. I am on workout 5 of the faster 5k plan and workout 6 of the activate strength plan…

      This is actually my first time to re-read this post-so thanks for the reminder!!!!

      And I just logged on to a certain app-ready to check up on a certain friend…

      🙂

      Back on track baby!!!

      Reply

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