Oh Confidence, where art thou?

So last Friday I had a moment. It was good. This week, on the other hand, not so much… I have managed to lose every shred of self-confidence I ever had. And maybe even some I didn’t!!! Honestly not sure how that’s possible but somehow it is and it’s happening to me. The thing is, it’s not just work, it’s my entire life—which is so so much more than work.
At this moment I can say I feel like I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing at work. To be honest that’s really the smaller part. The bigger issue is I feel like everyone ELSE feels like I have no idea what I’m doing. I feel judged. I feel talked about. I feel doubted. I am sorry to say I have no crazy juicy mean-spirited stories that have led me to this point. I got here all on my own. Yay me! People have been nice and friendly and have said good things, but I can’t hear them because my feeling is so loud.
This is true at home also. I FEEL inadequate. I am able to take every comment my husband makes and turn it into something amazingly critical. Then I get upset and he is left wondering how A turned into Z. I feel like I am no fun, grumpy, tired, plumper, uglier, less kind, and completely the opposite of awesome.
I must find my confidence-wherever the heck it went. I must fake it until I do. Perhaps I should practice my ‘confident face’ in the mirror. Although tonight I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be good enough-leaving me a few steps further back…


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